a) Motivate, inspire and teach my readers, or,
b) Update them on my fitness and training progress.
But in today’s blog, I’ve decided to take a bit of a different approach. I want everyone who’s reading to have a solid understanding of what a day is typically like for me. You see, although it may appear like I get up and train with ease each and every day, the truth is, I don’t.
Aside from sometimes feeling lazy or unmotivated to hit the gym – which by the way I’m not alone in – I also battle daily pain and discomfort as a result on my accident in 2007. Something with which I’ve avoided speaking about openly, online and with many of my closest friends.
In the past, I’ve believed that speaking about my injuries would release a negative vibe to others, but now, since I’ve received so many emails referring to my emotional and physical battle, I realize that people want to read and discuss real life issues. We, as humans, need to hear about the challenges that others face – it helps us feel like we’re not alone in our own struggles.
So, let me shed some light on what I experience.
On a daily basis I find myself constantly uncomfortable. Since my accident a couple of years ago, my back, neck and knee have been a wreck – don’t get me started on my flashbacks and anxiety while crossing the street, driving around pedestrians or even watching a movie where a person is hit by a car.
If I’m not waking up with pain or discomfort, then I know it’s coming at some point in the day. Whether that’s while I’m sitting at my desk at the office, driving my car, or just walking around for too long, my neck will always weaken, feel strained or get stiff and sore. This doesn’t even begin to discuss my back.
Truthfully, I could go on for a while about each of the permanent damages I’ve sustained. But I prefer not to dwell on the topic, as it usually upsets me or reminds me of what the doctors have warned me about my future.
But the point I’m trying to make here, is something I learned from a woman I loved dearly as a child, a woman who passed away from Cancer far too young, but has still managed to make a gigantic impact on my life to this day.
In her laptop – written as she was struggling with her diagnosis – she wrote, “By some absolute miracle, I learned early on that in spite of what was happening inside my body, I could control my mind.”
As obvious as this may seem to some, when you battle daily physical ailments or pain it’s often hard to feel like going on or moving forward.
Some days I dread the idea of getting out of bed, walking around the mall for too long or going for a lengthy car ride, because I am aware of how uncomfortable I will get.
But what I always try to remind myself – although it’s often very hard to do – is that I can’t let this pain take over my life. I have dreams and I have goals, and I’m not going to let anything get in the way of that.
I’m going to continue to see doctors on a weekly or bi-weekly basis – no matter how frustrating and inconvenient it is. And I’m going to continue to strengthen my body to help my joints feel better – no matter how temporary that fix may be.
I’m not going to let this accident beat me; I’m going to control my thoughts just like she did, I’m going to control my mind.
In loving memory of Karen Sampson